It’s currently 1240am, Singapore time, and this is probably the first and hopefully one of the few times I post an un-related baking post.
I’m turning 21 in a couple of days, and the past few weeks (or maybe even the whole year so far) have been just moments for me to reflect on my life. There are so many things that I want to do, and so many things that I haven’t. But I guess it just isn’t humanly possible to be able to do everything.
I really needed to post this somewhere – not as a Tweet, Facebook or Instagram post. I needed it to be in a huge chunk & be able to capture everything that is currently on my mind. I know it isn’t related to baking, so do stop reading if you don’t want to hear a 20-ish year old reflecting on her life.
Having been blessed with great friends and family, I can’t help but wonder why I seem to get this sense of dissatisfaction pretty often. It is as though something is severely lacking – but I can’t quite pin point it. It really makes little sense for me to feel this way but somehow it does.
Baking was always my refuge, my safe haven to escape from the realities of the world. But perhaps even my passion for baking has been consumed by a wave of other things. It’s probably just a matter of time before things straighten out – it’s really odd that I’m feeling this immense wave of “down-ness”.
Another thing I’ve been doing is evaluating my self-worth. Am I capable of doing what I really think I can do? Or am I just imagining myself to be better in certain ways than I really am. Just as the sky has endless limits, there is always room for improvement. Yet, knowing this, I can’t help but feel a sense of less than ordinary self-worth.
I guess it’s time to go to bed & perhaps some of these negative thoughts will be gone by tomorrow.
Goodnight folks, and thanks for letting me ramble.